Dear 4th child

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I wanted to write this post to our 4th child, because tonight I was talking to my friend, Hillary, and she said “I was thinking just a little bit ago about all these grand plans I had for summer fun…  and now summer is over.  It makes me sad.”   To which I replied… “ugh… agreed. Oh- and poor Allie- she’s just along for this crazy ride.  I hope she loves it.” 

Dear 4th child,

You are three years old now – an age of adventure!   An age of discovery!   I’m sorry that you aren’t getting the same experiences as your older brothers, but oh… you just wait!  Yes, our lives have been so crazy busy and you have kind of just held on for dear life.  I promise it will make you a more easy-going person in the future.    When Jack, your oldest brother, was born and it was only him, our days were much different than they are now that there are four of you!

We would go to the park and take a ruler and a sheet of paper.  He would measure rocks and sticks and then chart them on his paper.  We would gather leaves, too.  When we got home, we would make a larger chart of his mini chart and talk about inches vs. yards.   We would take our leaves and iron them onto wax paper with melted crayons (to get the leaves to stick) and make a beautiful window hanging!   We would  take the left-over leaves and glue them to paper, labeling them.

You do the same thing, sweet girl, but you have 3 people helping you.  You don’t get that “just mommy time” like your brothers did, but you don’t seem to mind.   You love the attention that you get when you sing us your songs or when you roar like a dinosaur!

Your oldest brother would sleep every night, soundly in his crib, waking up when he was rested in the morning.  I would hold him for an hour every morning and just snuggle him until he was up enough to play.

You wake up in the morning, ready to PLAY.  You have three friends awake and ready to see you.  They greet you in the morning like kids running into Disney World for the first time!   I used to tell them to “go in quietly, she is just waking up” but I’ve given up on that & you don’t seem to mind.  They run to greet you in the morning and they want to be the last ones to kiss you goodnight.

(Clearly they have done this since you were brand new… every morning) 

Your life looks more like this:

We go to the park, with your 3 big brothers (ages 5, 7 & 8) but now, instead of me giving you rulers and papers, the four of you get words… “Off you go!  Explore the playground & have fun! Save me some great rocks for me!”   You usually come back, after 10 minutes, ready to show me all that you have found.   You certainly are more adventurous than your brothers ever were!  What a gift that I didn’t know you would get (so unlike your mom!)

We still go on long bike rides, where you sit in the back seat while I drive along.  However… instead of singing to you & telling you silly stories, you get to hear “Come on, guys…. are you good?  Mic?  Do you see Ethan?   Does anyone need water?    Jack?  Why did you stop?  Beau, did you fall?  Do you need help?  Ethan, why are you walking the bike up the hill?   Do you need me to help you?  Mic?  Allie’s shoe fell off again- can you just keep it in your pocket?”    (You will soon learn that Daddy’s pockets can hold EVERYTHING!)    You don’t seem to mind, because you sing me songs and tell me about everything that you see.   

The truth is, Allie…  your life may be different.  You might have to catch a rest wherever you can. You might run from school to school and store to store with me.   We might not have quite as much one-on-one time as I did with your brothers.    It just isn’t possible right now, but you are so happy that you don’t even notice (well- and we do have those 3 hours in the morning when everyone is at school except us).

We might not go on all-day adventures just because we can, but you are pretty lucky.   You have 3 big brothers that love you more than I ever knew could be possible.    You have a dad that would do anything that you asked, even if it means carrying you on his shoulders for a 3 mile hike, because the tiny boo-boo on your foot hurts.  You have a big brother, Jack, who thinks your are “the most beautiful baby in the world!”  You have a brother, Beau, who will treat you like a princess until you are 80 & he is 84.  You have a brother, Ethan, who will carry you around the house, even though you are just about the same size as him now.  Oh- and you have a mom that thinks the sun rises & sets for you, my sweet girl.   You are so loved.

You have brought a joy into our home that we didn’t even realize we didn’t have.  You complete our family puzzle!   

You are going to be easy-going and fun. You are going to be generous. You are going to be a “Don’t sweat the small things” type of girl, like your mom, because you kind of have to be.   You are going to be smart, because you have 3 brothers and two parents that want to read to you all day long, because your love of books is so contagious!  You are going to be funny, because you have funny brothers and it is pretty hard not to laugh at them all day long.   You are going to be witty because you already show a little spunk & I can see it in your smile.  Oh- and you are going to be STRONG inside & out (and you already are).

You are going to make those three boys grow up to be great husbands, because they are growing up with a little sister and they will learn a lot from you.  You have a big role to fill, dear four child.

You are one lucky girl… loved, so fiercely, more than anyone I know.♥

You are going to be amazing.



Ps- If you liked this, I would like to invite you to join my FREE 7-day email series on spending one-on-one time with your children. It is a journey that we will take together to create a deeper bond & connection with our kids. It starts with this free calendar:

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