Father of twins shares a hilarious take on raising twins!

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our disclosure policy.

🏡 Click HERE to Join us for 40 Days of Decluttering🏡

🏡 Click HERE to Join Us for 40 Days of Decluttering🏡

Thanks to Mike, founder of The Father of Twins, for this post… I’m sure you can relate to what you are going to read today!

When you are a parent of twins, it’s not just kicks and giggles.  There’s hard data for people to analyze. A lot of people don’t realize the amount of resources your kids consume, and how much that can add up.  As I stress in Father’s 41 Rules for Raising Twin Babies, it’s vital that a twin parent allow others to help them out.  That assistance can come in many different forms, from cooking meals, to babysitting, to other things.  Who doesn’t want to read a post about statistics?

5,108 – number of diapers (approximately) the average twin family goes through the first year.  This is calculating sixteen a day for six months and then twelve a day for six months, to average it out.  When you go through this many, you end up not caring as much about what brand they are.

9.85 – weight, in pounds, of both twins combined at birth.  M was four pounds five ounces and N was five pounds eight ounces.  Both girls had to pass a car seat test before they could go home because they were on the small end of babies that go home right after birth.

4.7 – amount of hours, on average, of sleep that I would get per night for the first three months after the girls were born.  We were fortunate in that ours slept through the night relatively quickly, so that number ticked up to 6 by Christmas.

275 – amount, in dollars, spent on co-pays for doctor visits during the first year.  It seemed as though the girls were sick almost all the time in the winter and they always shared illnesses.  During the first year alone, they battled through RSV, bronchitis, viruses, colds, hand-foot-mouth and fevers.

1 – amount of half-gallons of soy milk we will go through in one day, right now.  Yeah, they get thirsty.

3 – amount of laps it takes to go around the mall while your wife and mother-in-law are in JCPenney’s.  If they started to fuss, I would just start taking them around the mall and pushing the double stroller around.  Hey, it was good exercise for me, and the girls enjoyed riding in the stroller.  That is, until they learned to walk…

12 – the amount of pounds I gained in “sympathy” weight during my wife’s pregnancy.  It’s weird, because I had cravings, too.  Holly typically craved Chinese food, anything with meat, and caramel sundaes from McDonalds.  I couldn’t go to McD’s and not get myself a small chocolate milkshake.

3.26 – amount of times, on average, of getting stopped in Walmart and hearing the phrase, “I bet you stay busy!”  In case you were curious, the average amount of times getting asked if they were boys or girls (wearing pink with pink blankets, mind you) clocks in at 1.03.

7 – amount, in milliliters, of M’s very first feeding after being born.  That is almost one-and-a-half teaspoons.  Yesterday, she ate three chicken quesadillas.

12,000 – amount of likes the girls received when they were featured on Old Navy’s Facebook page once in 2013.

24 – the amount of teeth the girls had between the two of them when they turned one year old.  Heaven forbid you had to fish something out of their mouths that didn’t belong there, because you were going to pay for it.

96 – the temperature the day the girls were born.  Back in those days (2011), there was no such thing as a “polar vortex”.

13 – the amount of wipes it took to clean the worst diaper on record.  Once you get to fifteen, you should just consider running the bath water.

84 – amount, in dollars, of a two-week supply of preemie formula that is not even carried at Babies ‘R Us.  We had to use it for six weeks, so, yeah, unexpected cost.

1 – amount of times the girls have been featured in school pictures sitting on a motorcycle.  You may need to read “Photo…BOMB” to find out more.

2 – number of ways I know of doing the girls’ hair: ponytail and bedhead.  Sorry, I started going bald at nineteen years old, there are just certain things I’m not going to be able to pick up.

62 – the approximate number of diapers we could cram into the Diaper Genie before it was time to be taken out.  If you forgot about it overnight, it made the house smell like a barn.  Of course, that is hypothetical, because I would never forget to do that…

13 – the current highest number the girls can count to.  They skip fourteen, fifteen, and nineteen before getting to twenty.  We’re working on it.

38 – the amount of pictures taken of us during our holiday photo shoot this past winter.  The amount with all four of us not crying…1.  For more entertainment, check out “Twin Dad Herds Cats: The Christmas Picture“.

7 – N’s personal record for the amount of stickers she could get on her face.  Interestingly enough, they were all taken off of her big wheel that she got for Christmas.  I think we’d have been better off just getting stickers.

1/6 – fraction, the amount of the bed that is mine when a child wants to sleep in our bed.

1000 – approximate days since birth.  It’s been a journey, and I hope you’ll continue to stop by my blog to read more about it.

Find me at “The Father of Twins“.  In addition, you can follow me on Twitter @TheFatherOTwins, stop by and like my Facebook page, and connect with me on Pinterest and G+.  Another shout out to Becky for having me aboard today!  As always, peace and love, y’all!

Want to see another one of Mike’s hilarious posts?  Check out 27 Signs I Have a Family.  (See you if you agree with  #14 as much as I do!  Quiet… its a secret!)

 

 Meet Mike,  a school administrator and the father of twin toddlers.  
I want to thank Becky so much for allowing me an opportunity to post on her site.  I am always looking to expose my posts to new people, and my blog, “The Father of Twins“, is barely two weeks old now.

If you like this post, please stop by my blog and visit some other posts I’ve written, I’ve been busy since I started the blog.  I began at “Twin Dad Talks” on Blogger on August 2, 2013.  After seven months and 75 posts, I wanted to move to a new platform, change my name, and reconfigure.  Now, I’m the father of twins, literally.  That’s my web page domain.

In addition to writing for my blog, I’ve had some things show up in Multiplicity Magazine, Grown Ups Magazine, TWINS Magazine, and The Good Men Project.

+ There are no comments

Add yours